It's Always Been You Read online

  Love couldn’t stop the snort that escaped. “Help? You encouraged a man who broke my heart to come to my family reunion and propose? Mother, do you realize that he broke up with me with a text message, after he cheated on me with his colleague for months? That means I wasn’t worth more than a few characters.”

  She felt Drake’s hand on her shoulder. The soft squeeze that came next soothed her frayed nerves, and she shot him a grateful glance out of the corner of her eye.

  “I’ve got this,” he whispered in her ear. “Harper, you’re out of order. For you to show up, after a year, and expect her to fall into your arms and accept that whack proposal, you must be crazy. It’s obvious to me that you don’t think much of Love.”

  “How is this your problem?” Derrick asked, his dark eyes icy.

  “Love is my problem. When you don’t respect her, I have a problem with it. You’ve already hurt her enough. I’m not going to stand here and let you try to insert yourself back into her life so you can do it again.”

  “Drake.” Love squeezed his arm. “I’m okay.”

  He looked down at her, his eyes soft. He shook his head slightly before turning a hard glare back to Derrick. “Get out. Go home. Don’t call her again.”

  Derrick snickered. “Why don’t you let Love talk?”

  Drake stepped closer to him, nose to nose. “Don’t let the fact that I’m a surgical resident make you think that you won’t see these hands.”

  Gloria spoke up. “Derrick, you need to go. It’s too late, anyway. Drake and Lovely are—”

  “Mother, stay of this,” Love snapped. The way her mom had reacted to the news of the marriage hadn’t been a shock. Gloria had always shipped a potential Love and Drake union, and she was itching to tell anyone that the two of them were married. Love couldn’t let that happen. So far, they had managed to not outright admit it to her, but they hadn’t fully denied it, either.

  Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to the two men in front of her ready to go to blows any minute. “Derrick, you need to leave. You’re not welcome in my life anymore.”

  “I don’t believe you.” He held up the ring. “You know we belong together. It just took me longer to realize it. I was stupid, full of myself. Then I realized that you were everything to me. I want to marry you.”

  “I can’t do this,” Love said, pulling Drake back out of the doorway. “I’m done.” Without another word, she slammed the door in Derrick’s face.

  Drake barked out a laugh. “That was good. I’m proud of you.”

  “Lovely, I’m sorry.” Gloria pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry. I should have never listened to your father. Why didn’t you just tell Derrick that you and Drake were together?”

  Sighing, Love backed away from her mother’s embrace. “Mother, I need a minute. I’m upset and I need to talk to Drake. Alone.”

  Gloria’s shoulders fell. “Fine. I’ll go.” She gathered her purse and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you at the dinner tonight, right?”

  Love turned away from her hopeful stare, and nodded. “I’ll be there. And, Mom, please don’t say a word to anyone about what the concierge said.” She didn’t give Gloria a chance to answer, but simply walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

  Chapter 5

  Love sat on her bed and stared at her painted red toenails against the plush beige hotel carpet. It had been several hours since her mother had left. She and Drake had gone to the Hunk O’ Burning Love Wedding Chapel, only to find that it was closed due to a “family emergency.”

  Drake had then sped to the Clark County Courthouse, only to find that it was closed until the following Tuesday due to an unpaid furlough day. Needless to say, Drake was pissed and had cursed during the whole ride back to the hotel.

  She heard the door open and looked up to find him standing in the entranceway. “I’m hungry,” she said.

  “I ordered you something through room service.”

  She chuckled. Despite how infuriating Drake could be at times, he still knew her like the back of his hand. “Thanks,” she mumbled.

  “We need to discuss this.” He sat on a chair on the other side of the room, far away from the bed.

  “Not if you’re going to yell.”

  “I won’t.”

  Love scooted back and leaned against the headboard. “Let’s talk, then.”

  “We’re going to have to carve out some time to fly back and get this taken care of. In the meantime, we just act like nothing has changed. We keep avoiding your mother’s questions, and go back to Michigan like nothing happened. I’m not sure we would be granted an annulment, because of the...” He scratched the back of his head.

  “Sex?” she interjected.

  “Right.” He shifted in his seat. “Once it’s done, we can tell your mother that it was a big misunderstanding and we’re not married.”

  Love stared at the ceiling, unable to say anything at that point. She wondered if he was going to actually address the fact that they’d had sex, since he’d had a hard time even saying the word.

  “I’ll take care of the court fees,” Drake continued. “I did some research on the process.”

  As he explained the process, Love didn’t let on that she’d done her own research on the way to the chapel earlier. They didn’t even have to appear for a hearing in certain cases, and they definitely had grounds for an annulment because they’d been intoxicated at the time of the marriage.

  Love picked at the comforter. “We can split the fees. I think we should hire an attorney to take care of everything else.”

  He nodded. There was a soft knock on the door. Drake disappeared and came back minutes later with the room service tray. They quietly ate lunch. It was the first time they didn’t say anything to each other. They’d always been able to talk, to laugh at and with each other. Now, they were in a sea of awkwardness, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Drake, don’t you think we need to talk about the fact that we had sex? I don’t want this to be a thing between us, one that we can’t get past. I need you in my life.”

  He shrugged. “What can I say? We had sex. After all these years, one night of tequila and we did it. I guess I just don’t know what to say about it.”

  Love turned, to find him picking at his food. “I remember.”

  Drake gave her a sideways glance. “Me, too.”

  Over the course of the day, she had been able to recall the details of last night, all the way up to the rushed wedding at the gaudy chapel. They had spent the evening visiting casinos on the Strip and drinking. She wasn’t sure when it happened, when something had changed between them. She just knew it did, and all of a sudden, they couldn’t deny the attraction, couldn’t stop touching and kissing each other.

  “It was my idea to get married.” While they’d watched the fountain display at the Bellagio, Love and Drake had kissed. Things had heated up quickly, and Love recalled how she’d announced that she wasn’t having sex again until she was married. That’s when Drake had proposed by singing “Suitelady (The Proposal Jam)” by Maxwell. The rest was history.

  “We were pretty twisted,” he said softly. “I’m not even sure how I let it happen.”

  Love wasn’t sure why she felt deflated at his comment, but it stung.

  “I wanted you,” he admitted. “In a way I never thought possible. It was a need I couldn’t shake away, or convince myself it didn’t exist.”

  She peered up at him, caught his gaze, before he averted it.

  “I remember that part,” he added. “I’m not sure how I can forget it. It certainly can’t be undone.” He stood and joined her on the bed. “But you’re more important to me than anybody in my life. I’m willing to try.”

  A lone tear escaped down her cheek and he swiped it away with his thumb.
“I hate myself for doing this, for depriving you of your first wedding. I know how much you wanted that. And you deserve it, with someone who is going to love you and treat you well.”

  Love closed her eyes. The dig at Derrick was clear. Yet she couldn’t help but feel sad that Drake blamed himself. “It’s not your fault. I wanted it, too. You were sweet, gentle and tender. And I appreciate that.”

  He squeezed her hand. “We can do this, right?”

  Love didn’t know if they could or not. She only knew that she would work hard to make sure it wouldn’t destroy their friendship. Instead of answering him, she pulled him into a hug. One of his hands swept up her back and rested on the nape of her neck. Prior to yesterday, that would have been a normal Drake thing to do. But in the aftermath of the night before, it was doing all kinds of things to her body.

  Her instinct was to pull away, but she couldn’t let herself do it. Not only would pulling away shine a bright light on the way they had changed their relationship with their actions, but she had to admit it felt good to be in his arms. Drake was the only man who made her feel safe. Her father didn’t even have that title. It was only Drake. Regardless of what they did or didn’t do with each other, she needed him like she needed her next breath.

  “Yes, we can do this,” she answered finally, holding on to him even tighter.

  After an uneventful family dinner, Drake and Love had settled in for cocktails and conversation with her mother and her aunt. The dance was in full swing, and all around them the Nelson clan was mingling and catching up.

  Love and Drake had both let out a sigh of relief earlier that Gloria had kept her mouth shut during the organized program, especially when the MC asked if anyone had any announcements. Now, as they sat at a high top table with her mother and her aunt, Love watched Drake interact with various members of her family. They absolutely loved him, and he managed to charm most of the women in the room with his deep dimples, smooth dark skin and beautiful white teeth. He was dressed in a navy suit with an azure-blue shirt that fit him to perfection, and she noted the way random women had responded to him all night.

  “You want to go play?” he whispered in her ear.

  She choked on the water that she’d just taken a sip of. “What?”

  He flashed a knowing grin. “The slots?”

  “Oh.” She wiped her mouth with a cocktail napkin. “Nah, not right now.”

  Love enjoyed the slots. But if heading to the casino floor was anything like the walk into the banquet hall that evening, she’d pass. Drake was a gentleman, so it was second nature for him to keep his hand against the small of her back as they walked. Since her navy blue, knee-length dress was cut low in the back, every so often the tips of his fingers would brush against her bare skin, stirring her nerve endings. It also didn’t help that he smelled like spice mixed with a burst of citrus.

  Absently, she wondered if it would be this way forever, now that she’d been with him. As much as she wanted to act like it never happened, separating the Drake that held her hair up while she hurled in the toilet in college from the Drake that made love to her at her favorite hotel on the Strip was proving to be harder than she thought.

  “Drink?” he whispered.

  She could smell the cognac on his breath, and fought against an urge to lean in closer to his warmth. Exhaling, she told him no. She’d stick with water. “You don’t have to hang around if you don’t want to.”

  “I’m fine.” He finished off his drink. “Your mother did a good job with the dinner.”

  “She did.” Love grinned at him over her shoulder.

  He beckoned to the waitress and ordered another drink. Then he turned to Love. “You look nice tonight.”

  Smiling, she tapped a finger on the table. “You don’t have to say that.”

  “I know,” he said simply, with a wicked grin. “I hope they know we didn’t plan to be color coordinated.”

  Unable to help herself, she burst out in a fit of laughter. “I know! I can’t believe that happened.”

  When his distinctive laugh followed, she pressed a hand to her quivering stomach as relief washed over her. They could still relax and make each other laugh.

  The clink of glasses drew their attention toward her mother and the microphone she was holding in her hand.

  Oh, no.

  “Can I have your attention, please?” Gloria began.

  The chatter in the room dimmed to a dull roar. Drake dug his fingers into Love’s knee.

  “I am beside myself with glee because my daughter made it to this reunion. It’s been a while and I’m so happy she’s here.”

  Love stood up abruptly, hitting the table with her knee. Oh, God. Rubbing her knee, she called out, “Mom, what are you doing?”

  “I want to say to Drake that I love you like a son,” Gloria continued, as if Love hadn’t spoken. “And I’m so happy that you’re a permanent part of my family now. I want everyone to congratulate my daughter and her new husband, Drake, on their marriage.”

  A round of claps and multiple cheers erupted. Love’s throat closed up as people swarmed her. Leaning against the table, she searched for Drake in the crowd. She took a few cleansing breaths as her stomach churned. Her throat became dry, and she reached for her glass of water. It was empty. Then Drake was there, behind her, leading her away.

  The roar of the crowd disappeared, replaced by the bells of the slot machines, then silence. She struggled to breathe, grasping at her throat frantically.

  “Sit here,” he said, gently setting her on a hard ledge.

  She heard the sound of running water and, seconds later, felt a warm cloth against the back of her neck.

  “Love, breathe,” he whispered, as his hand closed around hers. “It’s okay.” He pressed the cloth against her forehead and rubbed her back.

  A few seconds later, she felt her airways open up. “Drake.”

  He knelt in front of her, holding a glass of water in his hands. “Drink this.” He held the cool glass up to her mouth, and she gulped it down.

  Wiping her mouth, she shot him a smile. “Thanks.”

  “You have to be careful, Love. It’s been a long time since you’ve had one.”

  Love had been known to have panic attacks in the past. And more often than not, Drake had been there to pick up the pieces. That was why he—as annoying as he could be—was the most important person in her life. The first time it had happened to her, back in high school, she’d thought she was having a heart attack. Over the years, she had been able to manage them. Drake was right. She hadn’t had an attack in a long time, but after the events of the day, she wasn’t surprised.

  “Did she just do that?” she finally managed to ask.

  He nodded. “Yes, she did.”

  “She’s going to come find us.” Love imagined her mother searching frantically for them. She glanced at the small room, and realized she was sitting on a toilet. Frowning, she searched his gaze. “You brought me into a bathroom?”

  Drake shrugged and blew out a short breath. “I didn’t have many choices. You needed to get out of there. And I asked your mother to give us some time.”

  Love leaned forward, rested her head on his shoulder. “What are we going to do? This is a nightmare.”

  He leaned his chin on her head and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “We’ll be okay. She didn’t tell a lie. We did get married, in a moment of obvious lack of judgment. So we have to deal with the consequences.”

  She pulled away, searched his eyes. There was no panic in them. He was calm, as usual. “How can you not be freaking out about this? What happens when my dad finds out?”

  He rolled his eyes and looked away from her. Standing, he took the washcloth and tossed it in a bin. “If your dad finds out, we’ll deal with it. In the meantime, we have to tell your mothe
r the truth.”

  “What truth? That we got married on a whim because we had too many shots and wanted to get our freak on? I don’t know if I can do that here. She’s so happy, so proud. I’m sure she thought I was vying for spinsterhood, and this just gave her life. Besides, the whole family is here.”

  And with her mother’s progressing diabetes and her recent diagnosis of peripheral artery disease, Love thought that she needed some happiness.

  Drake sighed. “So, we wait until after the reunion is over.”

  “Maybe we should just wait until we can get an annulment. Or a divorce,” she added under her breath. “The fact that my father called my mother to get the deets on the reunion for Derrick makes me think they talk a lot more than I thought. She would definitely tell my dad we got married. He won’t be happy with you. He’ll kill you.”

  “What do you suggest we do? We’re not going to stay married, Love.”

  Love looked down at the tile, focused on the grout between the gray, beige and ivory colored squares. “Let’s make it through this weekend. When we get home, we’ll hire an attorney to take care of it. We can tell everyone that we made a mistake and decided to fix it before our friendship suffered for it. This way, my dad won’t be too upset, because he’ll think I did this willingly, and he won’t take it out on you or your career.”

  Drake didn’t answer for what seemed like an eternity. Love rubbed her thumbnail over one of the sequins on her dress.

  “Okay,” he said finally. “We’ll wait until we’re home and divorced to break the news to your mother.”

  Love stood, then stepped closer to Drake. She tilted her head to meet his gaze. “Drake, I need you to promise me that we won’t let this ruin us.”

  His eyes softened, and he pinched her chin as he had so many times before. “Love, we won’t. You’re my best friend and nothing is going to change that.”

  A tear fell from her eyes, and he smirked.