Wherever You Are Page 12

  She heard the rustle of fabric as he shifted in his seat. “How?”

  “I knew you loved me because you never sugar-coated things with me. You didn’t handle me with kid gloves or treat me like I was some kid who would crumble under the weight of the world. One of the things I noticed early on was that you treated me like an equal.”

  El had made sure she knew that she could command his attention and hold it. It had made her feel powerful, like a woman. Now he was treating her like everyone else.

  “Avery, you—”

  “Wait. Let me finish. You’re doing it again. You’re treating me like everyone else is. I came here with you because I expected you to act normal. Stop making me feel like an invalid. I can’t see you, but I can still feel and think and smell. Can you please act like the El I’ve always known? The man who would tell the truth even if it hurt. My El.”

  “But I’m not your El. And you’re not my Avery. You haven’t been mine in years. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “I want you to say what you mean and mean what you say.”

  “Fine. I’m not sure why you want to do this right now, but I’ll oblige. When you ended us, it gutted me. Yet I’m here, because maybe I’m a glutton for punishment or something. Because when it’s all said and done, when your sight is back and you’re healed, you’re going to leave. You’re going to walk out of here and live your life in your new world with your new people surrounding you and bodyguards everywhere. And I’m going to still be here. Missing you.”

  “Thank you!” Avery stood, nearly falling back. She didn’t dare say that she’d caught a flash of his face during his rant. She didn’t want to lose the momentum, didn’t want to put a halt to the truth telling that they needed to move forward. “Thank you! That’s what I need. Tell me how much I hurt you because I know that I did. I hurt myself when I left you. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you and wonder what you’re doing.”

  “I still don’t know how this will help the situation,” he hissed. “Telling you how I feel is counterproductive.”

  “I need the truth. You need to tell me so that it’s out in the open and not bottled up. But you won’t do that because you’re treating me like I’m sick, like I’m near death. You’re holding back and you never have before. You didn’t at the graduation. Treat me like I just walked back into your life and can see you.”

  Because she could. She could see him. Not every part of him, only one eye and one ear. Avery could see his brown skin and fought the urge to run to him and smooth her hands over the defined muscles she knew lay underneath his shirt. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

  “Avery, stop.”

  “No, I won’t stop. I’m not just anybody. I’m not one of your patients. I’m Avery freakin’ Montgomery. Act like it. Act like I’m strong and can handle your truth, act like I’m capable of taking it, like I can walk over to you and smack you in the face and not even bat an eye.” She walked toward him and stopped in front of him. “Then...” She let out a shaky breath. “I need you to make love to me.”

  Up close, she could see the lines of his face, the wide set of his eyes. “What?”

  “I don’t care what happened. I don’t even care what’s going to happen. But I almost died. I haven’t felt like myself in years. Not until I saw you in the back of that auditorium. Not until I talked to you. Not until you kissed me at the park and on the beach. You’ve brought feeling back into my body, heat back into my heart. I need you to do it again. And not in a sad, pitiful, feel-sorry-for-me kind of way. I need you to do it the way you’ve always done it. I need you to be my El.”

  “You just walked over here,” he whispered, a soft smile on his lips. A smile that she knew was there because she could see it. “You’re looking at me like you can see me.”

  “That’s beside the point.”

  Avery didn’t want to jinx it. She didn’t know how long it would last. As it was, her vision was like streaming a movie when the connection was slow. One minute he was there, the next he wasn’t.

  “Actually, it’s not,” he countered. “You can see me.”

  She blinked and he disappeared, just as fast as he’d appeared. This time, though, she could still make out his lean frame, his stance. “I could see you.” She felt tears welling up in her eyes. “For a minute, I could see your eye, your skin.”

  “And now?”

  She shook her head. “You’re just a shadow again.”

  He ran his hand down her cheek and gripped her chin in his hand. Pulling her to him, he met her lips with his in a searing kiss. Avery fell into him, wrapping her arms around his body as he devoured her like she was his last meal. His tongue slipped past her lips and she opened willingly, offering him every bit of herself with that kiss.

  When El pulled back, Avery was still wrapped in a haze with her eyes closed and her mouth open. She wanted more, needed more.

  El stepped away from her and she immediately missed his warmth. “El,” she murmured. “Please, don’t stop.”

  “Take that dress off.”

  * * *

  El stared at Avery, standing before him. Her skin was flushed and her breathing was erratic. She was glorious, as beautiful and captivating as she’d been when he first met her. He’d been immediately drawn to her then, as he was now.

  “Take it off. The dress.”

  Avery blinked and her mouth fell open. “What?”

  “You heard me. Take it off,” he repeated. “Now.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” He circled her like she was his prey, taking in the way she looked in the midnight-blue halter dress. It was low-cut in the back, showing him all the skin he needed to let his imagination run wild. He couldn’t wait to see it lying in a puddle under her feet.

  Despite his good intentions, he wanted her. And since she’d asked, he’d give it to her.

  “El, wait. I—”

  “Oh, no, Avie. You were all big and bad a few minutes ago. You want me to give it to you straight? How about I just give it you. All night.”

  Avery swallowed visibly, her hand flying to her throat.

  “What’s the matter? Scared?”

  Her confession that his brother had something to do with their breakup had pissed him off to the point where he’d briefly considered driving back to Ann Arbor and kicking Lawrence’s ass. But El knew that wouldn’t help the situation. This would, though. It would help both of them.

  And despite his arguments to the contrary, he’d always known how he felt. Whether she was near or far, he always wanted to be wherever she was. He doubted it would ever change.

  Moving closer to her, he looked into her eyes, saw the fresh sheen of tears in them. There would be no one else for him. Tomorrow might be different, but today—tonight—was theirs.

  When she still didn’t move, he walked behind her and untied the halter behind her neck. Leaning down, he placed a soft kiss on her nape.

  El dropped the straps, exposing her breasts to his hungry eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” He hooked an arm around her waist, pulled her against him and whispered, “You told me that you wanted me to treat you like you’re my Avery, correct?”

  Avery nodded.

  Taking her earlobe in his mouth, he bit down on it until she cried out his name. El pushed her dress down, and turned her to face him. “I don’t hear you, Avie. Use your words.”

  “Yes.”

  Fueled by her soft admission, he lifted her up and carried her through the house to his room, enjoying her surprised yelp and delighted laughter.

  Avery had told him that she hadn’t dated anyone, but his goal tonight was simple. He wanted to brand her, sear her with his love so that she knew he was the only man that would ever make her feel the way he did.

  Inside his bedroom, he set her on her feet. “Avie?”
He pinched her chin and smiled when her lips parted for him. “Show me what you need from me.”

  Lifting up on the tips of her toes, she met his mouth in the lightest of kisses. “El, I just need you.”

  The tiny contact coupled with the desire shining back at him through her eyes did him in. It was over for him, and he wanted more. Framing her face with his hands, he kissed her long and hard. El had never wanted to possess any woman before Avery. He wanted to take care of her, give her what she needed.

  El couldn’t stop touching her. His fingers moved over her earlobes, skimmed her bared shoulders then down her sides. “Beautiful,” he murmured against her mouth before capturing her bottom lip in his.

  Avery whimpered when he broke the kiss, blazing a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her neck and between her breasts before taking one of her pebbled nipples into his mouth. She dug her nails into his shoulders as he sucked and nipped at her skin.

  El resisted the urge to mark her, to leave evidence that he’d been there. Not that it mattered, because he’d already decided that no one else would ever experience her that way.

  He gripped her hips in his hands and placed more kisses over her collarbone and across her stomach. On his knees, he dipped his tongue into her navel. Hooking his thumbs in the waistband of her lacy panties, he slid them off.

  He ran his hands over her ankles and up her legs before urging her legs apart. Continuing his mission, he kissed her pelvis, down the front of her thighs and knees. Placing kisses over her inner thigh, he inhaled her sweet scent before he touched his tongue to her womanly core.

  His name on her lips propelled him further, and he continued, rubbing his thumb over her clit before taking it into his mouth and sucking until her knees buckled and she cried out her release. Oh, but he wasn’t done. Not yet, not when she tasted so good, so sweet.

  Avery was leaning against him, her hands planted on his shoulders as the remnants of her orgasm shot through her. Unable to resist, he slid a finger through her slick folds before he took her in his mouth again. This time, he pushed a finger inside her, then two.

  “Please,” Avery begged. “I’m going to fall.”

  “I’ll never let you fall,” he murmured against her skin before curving his fingers inside her and hitting the spot that sent her careening over the edge of bliss again.

  Her sharp intake of breath had him looking up at her. She was looking down at him, her eyes on his.

  “El,” she breathed, brushing her fingers over his forehead, over his eyelids, down his nose, across his lips. “I can see you.”

  Chapter 12

  Avery was so overcome with emotion, a tear fell. The sight of El, clear as day, on his knees worshipping her body, nearly took the wind out of her. Dropping to her knees, she let him pull her into a hug.

  He rubbed her back, whispered words of comfort to her. “You’re okay, baby,” he said. “I’ve got you.”

  “El,” she cried. “I saw your face.”

  Pulling back, he held her face in his hands. “And now?”

  “You’re blurry, but still there.”

  Still awed by his appearance, by his presence, she traced the line of his nose with her finger, then his lips, gasping when he took her finger into his mouth, flicking the tip with his tongue.

  Avery leaned into him. “Thank you,” she said, hugging him tightly.

  To be treated to a delicious, consuming orgasm and open her eyes to the vision of him in front of her was one of the best moments of her life. It made her want to write, to capture the moment on paper. But she’d keep her promise to him about not working.

  “El?” she called softly, suddenly concerned that the return of her vision and her subsequent emotions had changed the tone of the evening. She still wanted him; she wanted to continue their lovemaking.

  “Hmm?” he murmured.

  “Make love to me?” she asked.

  Taking her hand in his, he kissed her fingertips. She was naked, and he was fully clothed. Time to remedy that. Before he could answer, she lifted his shirt off. Allowing herself a moment to feel him beneath her hands, she sighed as a wave of pleasure washed over her. He was real, he was warm and for tonight he’d be hers again.

  Avery didn’t fool herself into thinking that one night would magically solve their problems, but she hoped it would be a start. She had every intention of seeing it through, making the effort to salvage what they had.

  El was like her personal angel, sent from heaven just for her. From the moment their eyes met all those years ago, she’d felt the connection. She’d likened it to an internal explosion because of its intensity. Distance and time, hurt feelings and misunderstandings, had done nothing to temper the overwhelming feelings of need, desire, lust...love she felt when she was near him. She wanted to revel in that feeling.

  She ran her fingers through his hair. El leaned his forehead against hers before kissing her gently. Soon the kiss turned frantic. She unbuckled his belt and pulled it off, tossing it behind her head. Unable to break the kiss, she unbuttoned his pants and pushed them over his hips.

  His fingers slid over her, drawing a low moan from her. She was on fire, burning for his touch, craving him inside her.

  He stood, pulled her up to her feet. Laying her back on the bed, he kissed his way up her body until he’d nestled himself between her legs.

  Kissing her chin before nipping it lightly, he said, “Are you sure, Avie?”

  Avery wanted to see him more clearly, but she was just happy she could see at all. The dim lighting in the room cast a warm glow over his skin that almost made him seem luminous, golden. If she were an artist, she’d put him on canvas, he was so beautiful. She felt him, hard against her opening.

  “I’m very sure,” she said.

  El slid inside her, filling her up so completely Avery closed her eyes against the gamut of emotions that coursed through her. He held still, his head dropping to her neck.

  “Damn,” he muttered, before biting down gently on her shoulder. “You feel so good.”

  Cradling him with her legs, she hugged him close to her. “So do you.”

  They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the connection, the feel of each other. Soon, he pulled out and then slowly pushed himself back in. She felt his lips on her neck, his tongue sliding across her skin.

  “You taste good,” he murmured against her skin. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  Avery’s eyes fluttered closed. She knew the feeling, because she felt it, too. It had always been like this between them. They’d been compatible on every level, which was why she hadn’t hesitated to give her virginity to him. He knew her body better than she did, could bring her to completion with well-placed kisses and hot words. El was a generous lover, never failing to give her what she needed.

  He’d taught her everything she knew about the art of lovemaking, had inspired many love scenes in her writing. She’d been a willing pupil, too. Running a finger over his spine, she wondered what he was going to teach her tonight.

  “Baby,” he said, looking at her.

  Smiling up at him, she tried to focus on the outline of his face. “Yes?”

  “Tell me we’ll be okay.”

  Avery blinked. There was something so sweet, so vulnerable about El’s statement. He wanted her to reassure him. It was a switch for them, because he’d often been the one who was in control of his emotions throughout their relationship. To hear him ask her to tell him that they would be okay made her want to promise him the world in that moment. Logically, she knew there were no guarantees, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to make everything good for him.

  Cupping the back of his head, she pulled him to her, placing a lingering kiss on his lips. “We’re going to be okay. No matter what.”

  El buried his face in her neck as he moved inside her, picking up the pace. Avery met his po
werful thrusts with a fire of her own. The only sounds in the room were those of skin against skin. There were no groans, no moans, just them, communicating with their minds.

  A frenzy took over, and she clung to him, wrapping her legs around his waist in an effort to bring him closer still. He pushed himself up on his knees, picking her up in his arms. She rode him, undulating against him until she felt herself unravel.

  “Close,” she said, struggling to catch her breath.

  “Let go,” he commanded. “I’m right with you.”

  He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and the thin band of control she had left snapped. They climaxed together, each groaning the other’s name.

  Avery fell back against the mattress, smiling when El pulled her against his side. It was something he’d always done after they made love. He’d once told her that it was because he needed to feel close to her, needed to still feel the connection.

  Her life hadn’t been perfect by a long shot, even before her stroke. But being there with El, feeling his presence was as close to perfection as she could ever hope for. Fame and notoriety hadn’t been enough. Her life was incomplete without him. Even if this lasted for only a little while, her feelings for him would last an eternity.

  Avery wanted to say something, but she didn’t want to break the spell. She didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize the harmony they’d created. Closing her eyes, she relaxed into him.

  Avery traced the lines of his muscles in his thighs and his abdomen, naming them in her head. I’m such a nerd.

  “Which muscle is that?” he quizzed her, picking up on her thoughts.

  When Avery was taking anatomy during her undergraduate third year, El would test her knowledge on his body. Swiping her finger over his upper thigh, she said, “Sartorius muscle.” She smoothed her hand upward, settling it on his stomach. “And this is the rectus abdominis, better known as the six-pack.”

  He chuckled, and it was music to her ears.

  “El—”

  “Avie—”

  She giggled. “You go ahead.”